Friday, Aug. 05, 2005 - I Just Don't Know...
I'm so restless. I can't sit still. Pacing, pacing...my thoughts fluttering feverishly.
Is it wrong to want some sort of reciprocation? I thought things were going well and maybe it's all in my head - as girls tend to over analyze everything but I don't feel wanted.
Yes we talk, yes he calls but he rarely asks me to do things. It is always me initiating everything from hand holding to kisses to dates. While he doesn't pull back, well, not always, I can't help but feel as though I'm constantly being compared to someone else.
He tries to feel me out, see if I'm anything like her and I can't stand that. Comparing me to his ex whom everyone who knows her - Smiley included - refers to her as a phsyco. How is that supposed to make me feel?
This all sounds so familiar but it was real this time, tangible. I could taste it and it was so good and now I don't know.
|before - after|