The wait to register alone was 20 minutes. The office was packed and I didn't know how I was going to verbalize my reason for being there without anyone hearing me. Depression may be common but it's not something you want to broadcast to the world.

The half hour wait after registration was hell. I started to doubt my intentions, if it was really that serious, that I really needed to be there. There were crying babies and children running around screaming, their Mothers screaming after them and I came so close to walking out the door but then they called my name and I was commited.

The doctor was very kind, soft spoken. He nodded as I babbled as though he understood. He signed the little white piece of paper and that was that. I'm back on the same anti-depressants I was 4 years ago; 20mg of celexa, the smaller dose to start. I took my first pill about 30 minutes ago although it may take a couple weeks for it to actually take effect.

It's frightening being back at this place. As alone as I already feel, now I'm totally isolated. I decided to visit GA for a little heart to heart. She would understand, 4 years ago we went through this together. Hell, we even saw the same Shrink.

I hate worrying her. A couple times her eyes watered as though at any second she was going to burst into tears. She didn't though, she's tough like that. I left her with a big hug and crawled my way back home. Gratefully, The Queen didn't ask where I had been for 4 hours although I'm sure she wanted to. I'm sure she's just dying to know.